


(is the water warm)

by devilishMendicant



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: (as backstory - no present-day abuse), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Intoxication (Consensual), Non-Sexual Age Play, Other, Swearing (Internal Monologue Only), Tags Updated As Needed/Requested
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-10-24 19:09:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17709905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/devilishMendicant/pseuds/devilishMendicant
Summary: is your mama home with you?-----[Note: this fic is 100% about non-sexual age play. If you don't like that topic, please don't read this. Comments moderated.]Collection of prompt fills for Regressuary 2019! Despite the tags, this will be like 95% fluff by weight - the heavy bits are in backstory/preface.





	1. preface - how not to hold a turtle

**preface; (how not to hold a turtle)**

* * *

 

Monika remembers being six at school, a class field trip to the aquarium.

 

It’s not surprising that she does, because it was probably the only nice thing that had happened that year. The aquarium had pond turtles and sea turtles and a turtle who was retired, said the guide with the bright blue aquarium shirt, and all the kids could _gently_ touch.

 

Monika looked at the scars on its shell, ran small fingers over the raised, mangled bits, and didn’t wander away with the rest of the children when another guide started talking about clownfish.

 

* * *

 

Monika feels like a turtle with a broken shell. She doesn’t remember feeling like anything else, although she can faintly remember before she knew what to call her feeling - but no matter what, the feeling is there. Named or unnamed.

Naming it made it easier, though. It was nice to have a name for it. Monika would lay on her side in her shell, arms tucked around her face, knees tucked against her chest, and feel all her insides bleeding away out of her smashed, broken shell until she was empty and dry and dead and then everything was easy until tomorrow, because she was dead, and there’s nothing you can do to a dead thing that’s too mean or too bad. Some days she didn’t die at all, but all the cracks were still there, and drippy, and everything leaked out of Monika drip by drip by drip.

There’s probably better words for it, now that Monika is essentially finished with education and stealing her best friend’s guest bed, scientific words, psychological words that made apparent sense to more people than turtle shells - but it doesn’t matter because this doesn’t matter, because it can’t _possibly_ matter or someone would have done something about it. Monika never tells anyone, anyway. None of her best friends, _only_ friends, need to know about Monika arching her back under blankets, pulling them tight around her at eighteen-near-nineteen years old, squeezing her eyes shut and thinking about morbidity that would suit Yuri, wishing protection from a shattered, bloody, imaginary thing.

Monika was six at the aquarium, seeing baby turtles perched on bigger, intact shells - Monika was six at home, curled up under the bed and shaking and wondering what would have happened if her shell wasn’t broken.

The zoo was at seven, and animals worked their way into her inner lexicon, refused to leave as she grew taller and thinner and her shell was broken, always broken, and she supposed it didn’t matter (or at least she didn’t care). They never made it into her outer words, an easy task - puppets are dead things and Monika was very nearly always dead, so she could choose any words she liked. Smart words, proper words, flirty words, perfect words. Monika was twelve and a skeletal marionette and said everything right and was dead all the time. It was for the better that she was, because she remembers bleeding out from her shell, not sleeping, and thinking about the farm rooms at the zoo and the chicks and the mommy bird holding them under her wings, and trying to imagine a soft feathered mommy bird snuggling a broken turtle, too. Baby birds slept close to their mommy bird and woke up safe and not dead and Monika _wishes._

Baby birds have shells for a very little bit, but they’re easy to smash and if you crack a baby bird’s shell, it’s dead forever, with no scars and no bumps. You smash it to death, then burn it, then eat it, and the mommy bird never knows where it went ever and never sees her baby bird again.

Monika tries to think and remember if her mother and father ate her.

Monika isn’t a baby bird, though - she’s a turtle, broken shell. Turtles’ eggs are soft and round, and she can envision sharp and manicured fingernails ripping one open and dropping out a baby turtle, weak and afraid and alone and confused, into a cold glass cage. She can envision how _not_ to hold a turtle, can see the spiderweb cracks made by hard contact point with tile floor, can see crimson spots of blood dripping, dripping, and a disgusted noise in the back of her ears from the sight.

She can remember that shells can be fixed, that lots of special bandages and rest and care and love can make a shell bumpy, raised, and whole again;

_But there isn’t much you can do,_ says the aquarium guide, _for a turtle that’s already a skeleton._


	2. disclaimer / table of contents / prompt list / clarifications

**Disclaimer:**

**I am not a doctor, psychologist, psychiatrist, Build-a-Bear worker, or aquarium guide.** **I’m a 20 year old nobody who is working through some weird personal stuff by writing cute stories on the internet that are grounded in almost no facts whatsoever.** **So don’t get your facts from these stories.** **Don’t expect the situations or reactions in these fictional pieces written in my free time for fun to have any basis whatsoever in reality or my personal moral compass.**

 **I write non-sexual age play in particular for personal reasons. I have** **nothing** **against age play as a kink, nor against people who engage in it as a kink, and I impart** **no moral judgement** **upon them for enjoying something I personally do not. Feel free to read anything of mine if you like the story I present. Please have a nice day.**

 **To everybody currently identifying with the militant “anti” subset of the Internet that made me feel the need to write this disclaimer: Please stay away from my story. I don’t like you and you’re making the Internet worse for everybody.** ** Go write your own thing and leave mine alone. **

* * *

 

* * *

_Table of Contents - updated once posted_

  1. **Preface** \- _how not to hold a turtle_
  2. **Disclaimer / Table of Contents / Prompt List / Clarifications**
  3. **Prompt 1** \- _how to hold a turtle_
  4. **Prompt 2** \- _out-of-sorts_
  5. **Prompt 3** \- _an ode to tigers_
  6. **Prompt 4** \- _carrying you_
  7. **Prompt 5** _- _settle in__
  8. **Prompt 9** _ _- _we’ll have a great day too___
  9. **Prompt 12** \- _do your very best!_
  10. **Prompt 17** _- _two__
  11. **Bonus 1** _ _- _self-soothing___



* * *

_Prompt List - starred prompts have been substituted from a different list! (base list from @mcschnuggles_ ♡ _)_

_(may change if I end up getting a good write with a different prompt)_

  1. Character A sees their favorite animal/character/whatever and it makes them so happy that they regress.
  2. Character A is feeling really fussy and nonverbal and Character B feels out of their depth in trying to help.
  3. Character A can’t find their favorite stuffed animal so Characters A and B have to find it.
  4. Character B wants to read Character A a bedtime story.
  5. Character A is falling apart from stress but refuses to regress. Character B just wants to help.
  6. Character A is tired and cuddly. Character B is happy to oblige.
  7. Character A is feeling small at work/the store/wherever without Character B. They start texting to help A make it through the day.
  8. Characters B notices that their clothes keep going missing. Turns out Character A steals their clothes because the smell comforts them at night.
  9. Character B really likes x movie/show/book and wants to share that with Character A while they’re regressed. Character A doesn’t really care for x thing but they do like seeing B happy.
  10. Character A is feeling small and needy, but Character B has to get work done. Cue A doing whatever has to be done to get their cuddles.
  11. Character B is feeling sad so Character A tries to take care of them despite feeling small.
  12. ☆ Character B wants to try regressing. A helps them through the process and they end up playing with each other.
  13. Character A is terrified of a certain thing. Character B builds a pillowfort with them to help.
  14. Character A loves the sound of Character B’s voice and wants B to sing for them.
  15. Character B decides to join in on Character A’s playtime.
  16. Character B is so exhausted from work that they pass out on the couch. They wake up piled under stuffed animals and blankets, with Character A quietly playing in front of them.
  17. Character A doesn’t feel comfortable asking for emotional support when they aren’t small, which leads to a long talk between them and Character B.
  18. Character A is always grumpy in the mornings, so Character B tries waking them up with cuddles instead of their alarm.
  19. Character B accidentally baby talks Character A while they’re big and A is not happy about it.
  20. Character A ends up regressing home alone. Character B comes back to find them a mess.
  21. Character A and B write Character A’s next bedtime story together.
  22. Character A and B go clothes shopping.
  23. Character A is in a bad mood and doesn’t want to talk about whatever is bothering them. Character B tries to get them to regress in the hopes of getting them to open up.
  24. ☆ Character B first finds out about Character A regressing.
  25. Character B is tired/sick/etc and Character A tries to care for them. A’s caretaking skills aren’t the best, so everything they know is based on how B treats A when A is regressed.
  26. Characters A and B have an arts and crafts day.
  27. Characters A and B have dinner together, and A starts to feel small halfway through.
  28. ☆ Characters A and B figure out how to say “I love you”.



* * *

_Clarifications - doubles as a nifty FAQ_

  * Sayori is Monika’s caregiver; Natsuki is Yuri’s caregiver.  
Sayori is mama to baby Monika; Natsuki is big sis to toddler Yuri.  
Monika’s oldest when fully regressed is about 2; she can’t regress fully in public spaces, but does get ‘soft around the edges’ / act more childish than usual.  
Yuri’s oldest when fully regressed is about 4-5; only regresses fully in the presence of Natsuki or Sayori, setting disregarded.


  * Literature Club (Monika, Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri) are polyamorous life partners; current day setting has them living apart for life reasons (Sayori stuck with the family house until her mom comes back, Monika living with her; Yuri and Natsuki accepted to the same lib arts college and live together closer to it), though close enough to visit often.
  * **TW: mentions of abuse**  
Sayori’s single mother abandoned her at home for month-long stretches of time, beginning when Sayori was 10. Sayori still cares very deeply about her mother, however, and her mother is loving but (clearly) flighty.  
Natsuki’s single father willfully physically abused her until she gained independence at 18. No reparations have been made and they do not speak.  
Yuri’s parents were generally emotionally negligent through her childhood. No intense ill will is borne between the parties, though they’re still rather distant.  
Monika’s father willfully emotionally and physically abused her, and Monika’s mother willfully emotionally and sexually abused her until she gained independence at 18. No reparations have been made and they do not speak. Nor will they ever.  
**End TW**




	3. prompt 1 - how to hold a turtle

Sayori Kimura was pretty sure she knew where this day was going before it had even officially started.  
  
Not in a bad way! Gosh, _never_ in a bad way; not with Monika, at least. She was just preeetty sure this totally-big-kid aquarium date wasn’t gonna end up being as big-kid as Monika insisted it was. Nobody’s fault, though! Aquariums were cool and they had fun little games and activities scattered around and they had _otters,_ and...   
  
… and, honestly - if _Sayori,_ resident certified best-mama-ever, was kinda walking on air thinking about it - that said a lot about how likely _Monika,_ resident certified cutest-baby-ever, was going to succeed at her plan of being a one-hundred-percent proper adult.   
  
Well!

There _was_ a reason Sayori had totally-discreetly picked out a pretty low-traffic time and day to go, and not just because it’s no fun when you can’t see the animal demonstrations. It would be good if Monika got to have some fun outside of the house for once, you know? And, well, she gets embarrassed super easy when everyone’s a _stranger,_ and embarrassed Monika never ends up enjoying anything as much as not-embarrassed, totally-unscrutinized Monika, so the less strangers the better! 

(And _oh_ she hopes Monika likes the water tables. The water tables were the _best,_ in Sayori’s expert aquarium opinion.)   
  
So, as one could probably tell, Sayori was _prepared!_ For things to go - well - any which way, really! Granted, this being a proper grown-up experience was definitely the plan that needed the _least_ preparation...   
  
... buuuut, she was definitely prepared for some other plans too.   
  
Just in case!   


* * *

  
Monika Shimizu is going to the aquarium for the _second_ time in her life! What an exciting day.   
  
Kind of. Well, she’s going with Sayori and that’s enough to make anything fun; the coral-haired girl could make fun appear out of thin air, truth be told, and she also didn’t mind... when Monika was herself. Which was nice, having people _really, genuinely_ on her side.

And it’s not a class trip, or anything, so they don’t have to be constantly going going _going_ to the next thing, which will also be nice. Maybe it was the being six part of her last trip, but she does distinctly remember the constant walking being real detrimental to the overall experience.

... okay, well. The short legs issue has clearly been rectified, and would Sayori even be Sayori if she wasn’t pulling Monika this way and that to see everything? Probably not. Not to mention that’s the way Monika likes it - left to her own devices, she would most likely stand in one spot for a few hours once she saw a particularly lively fish to stare at. Sayori’s presence ensured that she’d actually get to see all the animals, at least.

Sayori’s presence also ensured that - _probably_ \- nothing would end up going catastrophically wrong, mostly because having Sayori around prevented the kind of spiral that would cause catastrophe in the first place. All things considered, it was looking to be a pretty safe aquarium experience for all parties involved.

And thank goodness for that.  


* * *

  
_“... alright, alright. Who wants to pet Gen-kun— gently, now, there you go.”_   
_“The warrior!”_   
_“Ahaha, yup! He sure is a fighter. See all these raised bumps on his shell? They’re all old healed cracks. He was hurt pretty bad, back when we took him in, but thanks to everyone’s help and a lot of T-L-C, he’s back to fighting fit!”_   
_“Wow!!”_   
_“Aaah, that’s cool!”_   
_“Don’t tor… tortl… tortloises live a long time? Huh?”_   
_“Oh, kiddo. Gen-kun’s a—“_   
  
“... turtle?”   
  
“Mm?”

Sayori tilts her head towards Monika, who had... kind of frozen in place, hands stuck in the tide pool and gaze turned to the small congregation of kids at the room’s demonstration block.

“... that’s...”  
  
“... hn? You gotta speak up a little, Mons!” Sayori chirps, not knowing exactly what to make of Monika’s expression - she gently pulls Monika’s hands from the cold water, though, which she seems to appreciate from the shivery little squeeze she gives Sayori’s fingers. “You wanna go see the demonstration?”   
  
“He’s a _turtle!”_ Monika squeaks, pouting indignantly for an entire three seconds before remembering where she was and— resettling into something more subdued. Right. Yes.   
  
“Oh, I see! He’s a turtle, not a demonstration. Right! Because he likes the water?”   
  
“Uh-huh. He does.” Monika replies, mostly to the ground - suddenly finding great interest in tugging the hem of her shirt down rather than looking up at anyone’s face. It probably isn’t even the same turtle, really, but— but she _really—_   
  
“Um... um. Sayori? Sa, Sayori, can we... can we go see...”   
  
Monika, lost in thought and staring at the ground, doesn’t quite register where her feet had been going (where Sayori had gently tugged her free hand) until she nearly bumps into a raised stage.   
  
“Oh! Hello, girls! Are you two interested in seeing—“   
  
“Gen-kun!”   
  
“Eh— yeah!”   
  
The demonstration guide smiles, apparently not fussed by Monika’s - kindofridiculous outburst but she couldn’t help it, because the guide is holding Gen-kun and it is him! It looks like him. It— could it be him? Turtles do live for a long…

“Ehehe, yup! This is my friend Monika. She likes turtles a lot!” Sayori introduces, very Sayori-ly, and the warm arm slung across Monika’s shoulders is very steadying and she appreciates it a _lot._ “She hasn’t been here in awhile, but,”

“I— I remember Gen-kun!” Monika finishes, trying to keep her mind off the enormous blush on her face through a mixture of staring at the turtle _(the same!)_ and balling her hands in her t-shirt. “Is... is, um. Is he... I mean, does...”   
  
She can’t help it; she trails off into little more than a mumble, but the guide must have been a mind-reader because they nod, beaming and holding the little reptile out a touch further.   
  
“I bet he does remember you! He’s got an excellent memory, you know. And he’s been with us a _long_ time! Longer than my boss’s worked here, I think,” says the guide, the last part with a conspiratorial wink; but Monika’s eyes go wide all the same, reaching carefully to touch the turtle’s...   
  
... shell...   
  
“It _is_ you!” She gasps, looking right at him - Gen-kun, the retired (broken shell, healed all well) turtle. She can still remember the raised pattern on his back and the texture of his plates and  _everything_ and she feels like she could _cry._   
  
“I, I thought I wasn’t gonna see y, you aga’n,”   
  
Oh. She _is_ crying. That’s... _embarrassing,_ isn’t it? Crying over seeing the old tortoise that was important to you when you were in kindergarten.   
  
... okay, _still_ important, _thirteen years later,_ but...   
  
... she doesn’t feel embarrassed. She feels a _lot_ of things right now but, all the kids wandered off and it’s really just her, and Sayori (the best ever) and the guide (currently taking an _extremely_ emotional reaction over a turtle in stride), and the absolute only thing Monika wants for the rest of her _life_ in that moment is to—   
  
“Here, you wanna hold him? I’m sure he missed you.”   
  
The aquarium guide really is, beyond _any_ shadow of doubt, a mind reader.

Monika knows how to hold turtles - and tortoises - but, it’s their job, so she lets the guide maneuver her down to sit on the stage (in the middle, but she doesn’t really care), and steady her arms when they set Gen-kun carefully into them, and it is the _best_ day of Monika’s life and she knows by the way the conversation above her (M... Sayori and the guide) is tuning out to a steady background noise that the rest of today is _not_ going to be very grown-up.   
  
But that’s fine.   
  
Gen-kun is settled very contentedly in Monika’s lap, and Monika’s hand is settled very contentedly on his back, and she smiles, small and fond and so very glad to see a friend again.   
  
“Hi, Gen-kun,” she whispers -   
  
“My shell’s getting better, too.”   
  
(And maybe it’s just a spark of wonder; but the way he lifts his head to her looks _proud.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tried to strike the best point i could between "wrote this all in one day as prompt-based challenges assume" and "stared at it for 5 days trying to write the middle part".
> 
> it was a cute aquarium date and sayori definitely saw the otters. there y'all go. told u it was gonna be soft stuff except the backstory!!
> 
> (♡ - besides the turtles, monika really liked seeing the octopi.)


	4. prompt 2 - out-of-sorts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> our power has been out for 3 days so far! whee!
> 
> here's a big update burst for all yall as an apology before i slide back into the realm of snow and 2 dinky little space heaters!

Yuri Nakahara was feeling incredibly out of sorts.  
  
This, in and of itself, wasn’t... new. Not really. Yuri has been oscillating between various states of sorts-ness for most of as long as she can actually remember, and - if her parents were to be believed - before then, as well. Yuri, in fact, should have thought herself one of the most acquainted in the world with _out-of-sorts-ness,_ but then she’d met the other girls of the Literature Club and that had gone a bit out the window.  
  
So Yuri was no stranger to the feeling, no. Yuri (of a year and handful of months ago) might have done something... somewhat drastic, to handle the powerful feelings she was so weary of; Yuri of a slight stature and unpracticed nature had dealt with explosive emotions in an explosive manner; and, up until today, Yuri of an _inwardly_ slight stature had been working with her original plan to deal with the moods - frighten them into going away.  
  
(And also, accidentally that first time, frighten Na’ski-nee, which was again an _accident_ and even now she felt sorely about it, though eventually it almost seemed Na’ski-nee was _fond_ of Yuri acting... uncouth.)  
  
... up until today.  
  
Natsuki was used, at this point, to waking up with Yuri in her bed, clinging like an eighteen-legged octopus. Yuri was clingy when buzzed, clingy when little, clingy when the abyss gazed back, and as far as Natsuki was concerned at this point, clingy Yuri just meant _I need something!_ in her usual quiet way. Whether it was ibuprofen or quality big-sis time, Natsuki could generally provide it (and, to be perfectly honest, a warm bed-mate wasn’t a bit offensive in the first place).

So this morning wasn’t any different than usual, not really. Yuri had been... very tired, truth be told, so she only vaguely remembers gathering rabbit and blanket and plonking herself in her partner’s bed rather than her own; but, considering that her blanket is tangled in her legs and one of her arms is curled tight around Na’ski-nee (with the other curled to her chest, pressing Uutan close to her heart and her fingers, inevitably, in her mouth), the evidence is rather indismissible. And usually - _usually_ \- this is fine. Yuri is content to cuddle until the day has to start, whenever Na’ski-nee deems that may be, and even on the rare days where this is _not_ fine because a strange mood snuck up behind, Na’ski-nee would know before Yuri even managed to wake up (apparently she is a restless sleeper in those circumstance... moreso than usual, anyway).

This isn’t feeling very usual by the time Na’ski-nee yawns good morning, rolling over in Yuri’s cuddle to find her looking...  
  
... sort of _lost._  
  
Because she is. Yuri can— _feel_ that things are not alright already, things are not alright in the way that makes her grimace and growl and say things that make Na’ski-nee raise her eyebrows as she tries desperately not to look amused _(_ _”No, bun, really, what crimes did your poor crayons do to deserve this?”_ _)_ , but it’s not... but she _can’t._  
  
The idea of throwing a hiss about getting out of bed right now is... _not._ It’s not an idea. Yuri’s arms and legs consider it for a moment and decide, unanimously, that they’re not going to do anything, even if they’re all just as upset by that discovery.

Even saying something...

 _(“Not getting up.”)_  
_(“Not! Uppies!”)_  
****_(“No!”)  
_  
... is beyond what her mouth and throat are willing to agree on. Yuri’s throat decides it’s going back to sleep without her arms and legs, who are still refusing to do any sort of thing (to their dismay), and her mouth shrugs and keeps busily working at her fingers instead of doing words. Please do words.  
  
Her mouth does _not_ do words and now Yuri realizes she’s been staring for a bit and Na’ski-nee is looking worried and pushing some of Yuri’s hair back from her forehead.  
  
“... bun? Still waking up?”  
  
(Rhetorical question only because Yuri still doesn’t answer; Natsuki hums puzzledly before moving to sit up.)  
  
“Hey, don’t sweat it, kiddo - I bet you’ll feel better after bre—“  
  
_”Nnnhhng_ ** _h!”_ **  
  
Yuri’s arms and legs don’t want to shake out her mood, Yuri’s mouth doesn’t want to give up her hand, and Yuri’s throat decided words were too much to even bother with,  
  
But Yuri doesn’t want to get out of bed,  
  
And tears pool hot in her eyes when she realizes she isn’t even sure if she does doesn’t want to be out of bed.  


* * *

  
Natsuki is a little bit thrown when Yuri pulls her back down against the bed, makes a truly despondent, pitiful-type noise, and crushes her face into Natsuki’s chest before proceeding to dissolve into a cry.  
  
Okay.

Natsuki takes a deep breath, hand not trapped by Yuri’s death grip coming up to rest on said girl’s back. Off-kilter morning? Probably.  
  
She frowns. Yuri didn’t tend to lay down and take nightmares in such a way to leave Natsuki asleep by the end of them. And, _quite_ clearly from the finger-sucking, she was little as all hell right now - but when Yuri woke up off-kilter and little the first word out of her mouth was a “No” _about_ as intimidating as a grouchy kitten. Followed by several slurred but comprehensible statements about what she did not want to do, or hear, or see, and usually capping off with a ridiculous floparound that would give a beached salmon a run for its money. And _then_ once Yuri had tired of that, Natsuki could at least get breakfast into the little would-be terror, and the day... unfolded, from there.  
  
Clingy, Yuri could be, and often.  
  
Clingy, whimpery, and nonverbal beyond cries, on the other hand...  
  
Frankly, she’s a little concerned for Yuri’s general health.  
  
“Bun? Hey, hey bun, calm down, I’m not goin’ anywhere without you,” Natsuki says, as soothingly as she can - Yuri’s grip is, ah, kind of tight, but Natsuki runs her fingers through the girl’s hair gentle as she can manage anyway. “Take a deep breath for me, bunny? Yeah, there you go.”  
  
A couple shuddery deep breaths, yeah, but big deep breaths all the same, and Yuri’s grip loosens just a tad.  
  
“There you go. Okay. How you feelin’ today, bun?” Natsuki continues, pressing the back of her hand carefully to Yuri’s forehead - not really any warmer than she usually is upon waking up snuggly-close to Natsuki, so probably no fever. Yuri, for her part, just shakes her head miserably, burying her face in Natsuki’s ribs again.  
  
With Yuri not _saying_ anything, Natsuki starts to realize, it’s going to be a hell of a time trying to pin anything that could be ailing her down. Usually, Yuri was _quite_ talkative about anything she didn’t like - now Natsuki’s realizing she relies on that maybe a touch too much. Maybe Sayori would know what to do? Monika wasn’t a very chatty little one in the slightest...  
  
... ah. Right. Her phone is still downstairs, charging. Truly a galaxy-brain move, that one.  
  
“... well,” says Natsuki, feeling at a loss, “Maybe you’ll feel better after some breakfast, huh?”  
  
Although - hearing Yuri’s truly _heartbroken_ whine at that idea - Natsuki isn’t sure if that’s really going to help them today.  


* * *

   
Na’ski-nee was either the biggest meanie ever or a real live angel from heaven and Yuri had absolutely no clue which.  
  
As it turned out, breakfast was non-negotiable; Yuri’s arms and legs _still_ could not decide on how they wanted to move about, but Na’ski-nee didn’t _slow her roll_ at all! She just put Yuri into wake-up-daytime clothes without any help from Yuri, which was kind of a relief because she doesn’t think she could have picked anything out and kind of embarrassing because that probably wasn’t very easy, and then tugged Yuri up to her feet and walked her (which her legs _finally_ decided to do) to the living room.  
  
Yuri probably wouldn’t have been able to pick a cartoon, either; but, Na’ski-nee picked one for her, so the issue was moot. She sat Yuri down at the coffee table, flipped on _Anpanman,_ and walked off to the kitchen - _where Yuri couldn’t see her!_ And she doesn’t like that, not at all, and she almost feels like crying again before Na’ski-nee comes back with a bowl of cereal.  
  
“Hey, kiddo, hey! No need to cry, look. I’m here, okay?”  
  
That, the cereal, the cartoon and a kiss on the top of her head as Na’ski-nee settles on the couch, is enough of a balm for the _everythingisbadrightnow!!!_ to be quiet for a minute or two, and Yuri sniffles and eats her Chocolate Chex in silence.  


* * *

  
Natsuki is staring at her phone more than the television, which is probably how she misses Yuri abandoning the bowl on the coffee table and climbing up onto the couch, at first.

It’s not her fault she’s so distracted, really; Sayori was MIA from her phone and the Internet, as usual, was not really as helpful as she was hoping for when it came to issues like this. She was really on the verge of chucking the thing over her shoulder (then scrambling to get it back and call Sayori, probably) when she felt a slightly damp face press into her collarbone, and with a start she realizes that Yuri is cuddling into her side again.  
  
Much gentler, this time, and Natsuki is relieved about that if nothing else.  
  
“Heya, bun,” she mumbles, reaching her arm about to wrap Yuri into a side-hug, which the other girl seems to appreciate. Sighing, Natsuki makes to drop her phone on the couch and forget about it, but—  
  
_[TXT MMS]_  
_[from: heelies > feelies] _  
_[ohhh natsuki!!! gosh youre really the sweetest to yuyu]_  
_[but if shes not sick then i think its just one of those days you know??]_  
  
**[no, I don’t know!!! that is literally why i texted you dip]**  
  
_[ahhhh natsukiiii you know!!! a hard day!!!!]_  
_[i know usually shes all up n raring to go but!!! maybe if shes acting quieter and huggier she needs things less like that today]_  
_[maybe its a tlc day!!!!]_  
  
“Nn?”  
  
Natsuki glances down, at - Yuri, eyes still a little wet around the edges and looking curiously at her phone, snugly cuddled into her side and looking a breath and a half away from migrating into her lap entirely.  
  
“Oh, I’m just - saying good morning to Auntie Sasa, that’s all,” Natsuki stammers, switching off the display before, sighing.  
  
“She says maybe, um... she says maybe today should be an extra snuggles-and-hugs day, Yuyu. Does that sound like it might... like it might help you feel better?”  
  
_”Mm!”_  
  
Ah -  
  
And Yuri _nods,_ with such conviction that Natsuki nearly feels bowled-over; then literally nearly feels bowled-over by how fast Yuri scoots into her lap, throwing her arms around her and nuzzling into her neck.  
  
A TLC day. You know, that...  
  
... that really makes sense.  
  
“Sounds good?” Natsuki asks, rhetorically, “Yeah, sounds good to me too. One snuggle rest-up day, coming right up, then!”  
  
So - it did mean _I need something!_ after all, didn’t it? Natsuki shakes her head good-naturedly,  
  
And settles in for a long morning of cartoons and cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is another one ive been trying to finish for days but HEY!! i found my secret writing unlock and now.... it's done!!
> 
> natsuki is a good big sister!! natsuki is a really good big sister!!! okay!!!
> 
> (♡ - yuri really, really, really likes rabbits.)


	5. prompt 3 - an ode to tigers

“Peanut? Hey, sweetie, are you okay?”  
  
_Ordinarily,_ Sayori wouldn’t lead with such a saccharine pet name, upon entering her room and seeing Monika curled on the bed - but, noticing the way her fingers were grasping around the ends of her feet, the slight rocking motion (forwards and back), and the shaking of her shoulders, she thinks that in this case, _this_ case, it’s probably appropriate.   
  
Monika just gives a tiny shake of the head to Sayori’s question, too, and that really solidified all her suspicions about how old Monika is feeling at the moment.   
  
“Aw, baby, I’m sorry you’re feeling sad,” Sayori says, approaching where Monika was sitting carefully. “Would a hug help you start feeling better?”   
  
A shaky nod; and the _moment_ Sayori opens her arms, half-sitting, she’s enveloped in arms and legs and one very clingy, tearful little Monika.   
  
Which isn’t exactly new, not really, considering that Monika preferred the ‘just keep going ‘till you crash’ lifestyle (as much as Sayori would rather she not). Honestly, this is how half their play sessions start in the first place. Sayori may not be sure what happened today, but she can definitely be a shoulder to cry on (and giver of warm hugs) until Monika felt ready to talk about it.   
  
“I— I g’nd,”   
  
Or, maybe Monika felt ready to talk about it right now? A surprising development, but not at all a bad one! Sayori smooths Monika’s bangs back from her forehead as she pulls back a tiny bit from the hug, eyes wide and overflowing with tears.   
  
“Oh? What’s wrong, sweetpea?”   
  
“I-ga’nd-fi’d-Tuw’dl!”  
  
This is, of course, weepy baby speak for _”I can’t find Turtle!”,_ and oh, no _wonder_ the poor girl was crying. Monika was about as inseparable from the stuffed tortoise as one could be - it was even the only toy that had the top honor of being a permanent mainstay of Monika’s bed, little or not. Sayori frowns.   
  
“Oh, no! You can’t find Turtle?”   
  
Monika shakes her head, breath still coming in uneven and sniffly - but shoulders dropping a little, relieved that her mama understood the issue at hand. Sayori gathers her a bit further into her lap, putting a gentle hand between Monika’s shoulder blades, rubbing circles.   
  
“That’s gotta be feeling pretty scary, huh, baby? I’m sorry,” she says, and plants a soft kiss on Monika’s forehead. “What do you say we look for him together?”   
  
“U-Uh— uhged’r?”   
  
“Mmhm, together. I think we’ll have a much easier time finding him then, don’t you?”   
  
Monika nod-nod-nods to that, sniffling strongly and wiping at her face with the backs of her hands.   
  
“Ah! How ‘bout we get you a tissue first, lil’ missy? C’mon, we can see if he’s in the bathroom then, too. Up we go!”   


* * *

  
Turtle, unfortunately, is not hiding in the towel cupboard, using the potty, or taking a bath - but, with Sayori’s promise to look further, another sniffly fit is mostly avoided.   
  
(Not that she doesn’t take a handful of tissues with her, just in case.)  
  
Next on the list is Monika’s bedroom, where Turtle is not hiding in any of the following places: 

  * Monika’s blankets
  * Under Monika’s bed
  * Under Monika’s rug
  * In Monika’s closet
  * Behind Monika’s dresser
  * Under Monika’s dresser
  * _I_ _nside_ Monika’s dresser
  * Under Monika’s pillow.



  
Needless to say, Monika wasn’t exactly getting more chipper throughout any of this. Sayori sighs, rocking back on her heels as she finishes re-settling the blankets on Monika’s bed.   
  
“Maybe he’s downstairs, bean?” She offers, running a comforting hand over Monika’s head for a moment. “He’s gotta be in the house somewhere - he’s a little too short to reach the doorknob, isn’t he?”   
  
At least that merits a very, _very_ itty-bitty smile. She’ll take it.   
  
Downstairs... also doesn’t fare too much better, to be frank. No toybox, no couch cushion is left unturned, and yet - no fuzzy reptile friend to be found! Even Sayori is starting to feel a bit discouraged, and that’s not a good sign as to how well Monika’s holding up.   
  
“I’m sorry, lovebug,” she says - seated on the re-sheveled couch, gently rocking a once-again whimpery Monika. “Shh, sh, baby. I’m sure he’ll turn up! Here, I’m going to make somethin’ to keep our tummies full, and then we can keep looking, okay? But I think we’re both a little hungry to be looking so hard, mm?”   
  
Monika shakes her head with a surprising amount of force, pushing herself closer to Sayori, but—   
  
_... gwwwwl..._   
  
... well. The girl freezes for a moment, then visibly slumps, nodding miserably.  
  
“Alright, sweetpea - I’ll put something on for you while you’re waiting, okay? Is there something you wanna watch?”   
  
“... B, B’yu?”   
  
“Sure thing,” Sayori says, dropping a kiss on Monika’s cheek as she flips on the television. “All the Blue’s Clues you want, Monnie. I’ll go start dinner, ‘kay?”   
  
Monika nods, a little absently, and Sayori slips off to the kitchen once the opening bars start playing.   
  
... although, she does make a stop at the dining room table, first.   
  
“Hmm-mm... ah? Hello— hey, Nat! Listen, weeee’ve got a little bit of a problem...”   


* * *

  
_“‘M sorry y’ can’t find Turtle!”_   
  
“Also, hello,” Natsuki sighs - one step behind Yuri, who had bounded inside and thrown her arms about Monika the moment Sayori opened the door.   
  
“Hey, Natsu,” Sayori says, smiling fondly. “Um, sorry for calling so late, but—“   
  
“Yeah, yeah. It’s fine,” she says, waving it off somewhat airily, “The little beast’d been wanting to come see Monika for awhile anyway. Besides, a lost lovey’s one heck of an emergency, ain’t it?”   
  
“Yeah,” Sayori sighs, shoulders sagging. “It sure is.”   
  
“Hey, at least yours is quiet in her misery,” Natsuki quips, patting Sayori’s back. “Yuri lost Velvet once and spent the better part of an hour composing a dramatic little ditty about how the sun was gonna go out _instead_ of looking for it.”   
  
“Oh gosh.”   
  
“Oh gosh nothin’, you ever hear a kid try to rhyme anything with more than three syllables? Hey, Yuyu, don’t forget about the thing, bun!” She calls, very descriptively, holding out the little travel bag Sayori’s seen once or twice.   
  
“Oh! Oh right! Monnie, Monnie, we gotcha somethin’! We went’a go find crackers’n I thought’d she’d could help you look for Turtle!” Yuri... _sort_ of explains, darting back to Natsuki and the bag for all of the 3 seconds needed to pull out - an - a something? That she runs back to the couch (containing a sniffly Monika) carrying, and then holding out proudly, a...

A stuffed tiger toy, big and floppy-armed and peach-colored. Monika sits stock-still for a moment, rather shocked,   
  
“... k-kit’dy?”   
  
“Yeah, a kitty! A tiger! D’you like’r?”   
  
Then reaching forward and grabbing it, hugging tightly. Yuri beams, flopping into the couch cushions next to Monika with a hug primed and ready to launch.   
  
“Yay! I knew’d you’d like’r, tigers ‘r really good at findin’ things, they c’n see in th’ dark an’ they’re big ‘n strong, an’ they can jump _real real tall_ an’—“   
  
Monika nods, nuzzling her face (well, the tiger would have to have a coming-home bath anyway) into the tiger’s fluffy neck.   
  
“K-Kit’dy,” is about all of her verbal agreement, which is par for the Monika course. “T— T’anku, ‘uyu,”   
  
“Youuuuuuuu’re wel-come!” Yuri says, planting a happy kiss on Monika’s cheek. “C’mon! Your mama made din’er an’ Na’ski-nee said we could stay’n eat with you!”   
  
“‘tay,” Monika nods, and for at least thirty minutes (and maybe more, depending on how long Yuri and Natsuki stay), things are alright in the Kimura homestead.   


* * *

  
_(“Alright, ‘yori, Monnie - hate to say it, but it’s past this scamp’s bedtime. How ‘bout we come back another day a little earlier, yeah?”)_   
  
It had just been about an hour of playtime, but that plus the weepiness really took a lot out of Sayori’s poor little one - Monika had been nodding off where she sat for at least ten minutes by the time the ‘time’s-up’ came, and after about fifteen minutes of managing to separate the two sleepy kiddos, Sayori was truly surprised Monika hadn’t passed out on the couch.  
  
She _was_ yawny, though, head nodding on the way up the stairs, the stop at the bathroom to brush teeth, the second stop at her bedroom to pick out pajamas, and finally, seated on the edge of Sayori’s bed as Sayori wrestled said pajamas _onto_ the limp, drowsy babe.   
  
“Alright, Monnie, there we go. Cozy baby, huh?” She giggles, lightly pressing her forehead to Monika’s. “Mama’s gonna get her own PJs, okay? Then we can have a cuddle and night-nights.”   
  
Monika makes some sort of sleepy, affirmative noise - swinging her feet gently and not moving much to actually settle into bed, but, hey! That was Sayori’s job, you know, the tucking-ins, and she took it seriously. Turning about to get to her dresser—   
  
_Tmp._   
  
“Kit _'dy,”_   
  
She hears the telltale little smack of a stuffed friend hitting the ground, and the tired little whine of a sleepy little wanting their buddy back, to boot. Pajamas could wait a second.  
  
“Aw, here you go, lil’ green bean,” Sayori coos, bending down to pick up the adventuresome tiger, an—   
  
_Wait. Wait a minute._   
  
“Hey! Well, would you look at _that!”_   
  
Reaches under her bed to triumphantly fish out one slightly dusty, very fuzzy, _very_ well-missed tortoise friend.   
  
_”Tuw’dl!”_   
  
Monika fairly lunges off the bed in her attempt to immediately hug her found stuffed friend, and quite possibly never let go again - Sayori steadies her, smiling as she passes both tortoise and tiger back to her baby.   
  
“There we go, safe and sound again,” she hums, gently maneuvering Monika and her armsful of fluff to lay down under the blankets. “Looks like Yuri was right, huh? Kitty knew just where Turtle was hiding!”   
  
“Uhhuh,” Monika mumbles, a little muffled by plush friend. “K—Kit’dy’s good’t fin’in.”   
  
“Mmhm, she really is. I’ll be right back for cuddles, Monnie,” Sayori hums - plants a soft kiss to Monika’s forehead, and finally gets to the dresser to change.   
  
Monika is very nearly asleep by the time Sayori slides in bed, pajamas donned, but she snuggles close to Sayori and her warm, loving hugs even then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> orange, black and white is what to wear! (it's haute couture for those who dare.)  
> it's camouflage, and stylish too - yes, tigers look the best! (it's true!)  
> \- calvin and hobbes
> 
> hello and welcome to stuffed animal corner, where we give monika soft friends because that's what she deserves and more!! thank u for your time.....
> 
> (♡ - kitty and turtle are best friends, and like to sleep in the same sunny spots.)


	6. prompt 4 - carrying you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: natsuki swears a bit, but only in her internal monologue.

It shouldn’t be this big of a deal!   
  
It shouldn’t be. It  _ shouldn’t _ be! Natsuki is, currently, sitting at the kitchen table - head lain on its surface and staring at a book not five inches from her nose.   
  
It’s a small book, thin and white-jacketed. A kid’s book. It’s one she recently bought for Yuri, actually, and the reason it’s on the table is because...   
  
Well.  
  
Natsuki is good at being a big sister, okay? She’s great at making fun (and nutritive) lunches, she knows all the Pokémon and the names of Hamtaro’s friends; she’s a whiz at putting bandaids on a wiggly kid and most of the time she even knows what to say (or close enough to it) when things go bump in the night. She’s totally got it on lockdown. She is definitely the cool big sis, awesome looked-up-to can-do- _ anything _ she’s always wanted to be.   
  
But, she’s also kind of running double duty as a  _ mom,  _ because even if she feels mostly like a big sis, that doesn’t change the fact that... there’s just her and Yuri here, most of the time, and as precocious as she acts, when Yuri is little she’s  _ four _ and she does really need to be taken care of more than regular big sister babysits tend to encompass. And while Natsuki feels like a  _ great _ big sister,   
  
She kind of feels like a subpar mom.   
  
On a number of levels, really, but it’s not like she’s giving up. Natsuki isn’t some kind of quitter. She’s just... working on it. Slowly but surely. More surely in some areas (who has two thumbs and learned how to deal with absentminded accidents?) and more slowly in...   
  
... others.   
  
Natsuki’s always had some troubles with reading. Not, like, impossible or anything, no! Just— it just wasn’t as easy for her as it seemed to be for everyone else, that’s all. She’d read a word wrong (or two or five) or stutter through some sentences, and everyone in class would figure out they had something  _ else _ to pick on her about and one thing leads to another and she breaks someone’s nose in the courtyard. Whatever. That’s life.  
  
But, turns out, one thing moms do is read kids stories. Particularly at bedtime. It’s this whole damn ritual, actually, that almost every kid (except probably the Girlfriend Club, as it would happen) participated in, and, well, Yuri wants that too. And that’s fair! That’s  _ so _ \- god, what’s the word Sayori uses? Valid? That’s so fucking valid!   
  
But oh god Natsuki can’t read aloud.   
  
She knows it’s stupid - knows that Yuri, of all people, isn’t about to laugh at her over some fumbled words,  _ much _ less sweet little Yuri who just wants to hear  _ Na’ski-nee’s _ voice before bedtime - but god, that doesn’t lessen the hard little ball of idiot nervousness in her stomach. And it really doesn’t help that the voice in the back of her head keeps mentioning that Yuri probably deserves someone who can actually  _ read well  _ to tell her bedtime stories, and not this hot mess laying on the table glaring at a picture book of  _ Castle in the Sky _ like that could magically solve the issue.   
  
... shit. That’s not helping.   
  
Natsuki blows out a sigh, sits up and shoves off from the kitchen table - puts the book up on a shelf and decides, responsibly, to worry about it  _ later. _   
  


* * *

  
Just later enough to talk herself into it, as it would appear.

Look, it wasn’t totally her fault, okay? Yuri just had the most dangerous puppy-dog-eyes known to man,  _ especially _ when she did  _ not _ want to get out of the tub. Not for an episode of  _ Hamtaro, _ not for a game of  _ Aquaforest _ on big sis’s phone, not even for a snuggle and popcorn and movie on the couch - so Natsuki’s brain had pretty much turned off by the time she opened her mouth and said “Well, how about a bedtime story?”

So! Now she was on the hook for it, whether she liked it or not. Not that she didn’t like it! It was just, you know, the overwhelming nerves of it all and the tiny traitorous voice in her head saying Yuri wouldn’t even like it. You know. Fun things.   
  
But Natsuki is a girl of her word, so she grabs the book off the shelf and walks back to Yuri’s room.   
  
Yuri, who is a very independent little sprout, has already tugged bunny-print pajamas on, over her legs and her nighttime underwear and all 17 Sanrio band-aids on her arms (freshly applied by Natsuki after the bath; even big brave four-year-olds need help with some things), and squirmed underneath her blankets, Velvet and Uutan the rabbit siblings tucked in snugly with her. It’s— honestly, one of the cutest sights Natsuki has ever seen, and that’s really saying something considering her longtime perusal of shoujo manga.   
  
“Hey, Yuyu, all ready for a story?” Natsuki says, stepping into the bedroom and setting the book on the nightstand as she fiddles with the switch for Yuri’s lavender fairy lights.   
  
“Uh huh!” Says Yuri, eyes shining - and as the lights shimmer to life, she catches a glimpse of the book cover.   
  
“Castle in the Sky! But, but isn’t that’a movie?”  
  
“Well, yeah,” Natsuki says, sitting on the edge of Yuri’s bed, “But, um, they made it into a book, too. I thought you might like it, since you like the movie so much, right?”   
  
“Yes! Yeah, uh-huh! I wanna hear it, Na’ski-nee, won’chu read it? You’re, you’re gonna read it, right... ?”   
  
Natsuki takes one look at Yuri’s face, hopeful and pleading all at once.   
  
“I— of course! I promised, right? C’mere, you little scamp,” she says, and smiles as Yuri rushes to cuddle into her side. “You know how it starts, don’t you?”   
  
“With Pazu!”   
  
“Yup!”   
  
Natsuki takes a deep breath,   
  
(Feels Yuri squeeze her, gentle and excited,)   
  
And starts to read.   
  
_ ”A— A long time ago, in a small mining... vil-village, there lived a young, man,” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> carrying you; known better as kimi wo nosete.
> 
> ghibli movies? really good!! and castle in the sky is one of the more comforting movies, with a clear plot and happy resolution. these are my justifications and you cannot take them from me
> 
> another one i took some time to write?? again, the magic writing spot has done wonders for me. (the picture book is a real thing! sadly i don't own it :c )
> 
> (♡ - uutan and velvet are a little bunny and big bunny, a bit like someone else.)


	7. prompt 5 - settle in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> your grades are not a reflection of your worth.

_”No,”_   Monika growls, and Sayori sighs, leaning over the back of the desk chair and pressing her hands softly into the tense swell of Monika’s shoulders.  
  
“Mon-Mons, you haven’t even _moved_ since I left!”  
  
“Amazing. Truly, my stilling in your brief absence—“  
  
“Since I left _for work,”_   Sayori continues. _”Six hours ago.”_  
  
Monika does not complete her sarcastic line of thought. Sayori digs her fingers in again, a little more insistently.  
  
“Monika, babe, it’s okay. You did _enough_ for right now. Your textbook isn’t about to grow legs and walk off on you or anything,”  
  
“I’m studying! Okay? Look. Grown woman, studying, _finals._ **_Finals.”_**   Monika stresses herself - both as a turn of phrase expressing her tone, and also as her current state of being.  
  
“They’re in three weeks, Monnie!”  
  
“I’m in the middle of this page and I have—“  
  
“You finished,” Sayori grabs at a stack of paper next to Monika, riffling through it with a thumb, “... like, fifty of them already. You’re _shaking.”_  
  
“From being frustrated.”  
  
Actually, probably from sitting in one spot for six hours. But she could still read her own handwriting, so no problems there. It was actually kinda aggravating, truth be told - she used to be _so_ much better at this. Six hours in the middle of the day was doing things to her hand that only used to happen after ten hours, overnight.  
  
_”Sayori,”_   she hisses, again, because she keeps prodding at her shoulders and they’re _loosening_ and that’s just going to make her hand shake worse! Jesus, did she understand the musculature of the human body or not?  
  
“Monnie,” Sayori returns, infuriatingly gentle, “I’m not gonna let you starve yourself over a desk. C’mon, we don’t even have to do anything but head downstairs and eat.”  
  
“No.”  
  
Says Monika, and she hates that it tapers into a whimper.  
  
She does want to eat. She really really _really_ does want to eat. Her eyes hurt from glaring down at this book and her back hurt and her stomach hurt and she isn’t even sure if she remembered to get water but she has to fucking study. She has to. If she fucks this up again she doesn’t want to think about— she doesn’t even _know_ what’ll happen but she’s not _going_ to. She’s just going to sit here and do the problems until she can ace this stupid test and then she can put it down, she can close up the books and in ten minutes, after she’s eaten something, she can take a nap, and—  
  
Wait, wait. No. Hold on, that’s not... she’s not...  
  
Monika jerks upright, blinking and wiping harshly against the slightly-damp corner of her mouth. _Fuck!_  
  
_”Sayo-_ ** _ri!”_**   says Monika, and her stomach twists when she realizes it sounds more like a desperate whine than a leave-me-alone snarl. This isn’t fair! If Sayori’s allowed to lull her into a study-hall doze with her stupid soft _voice_ and nice firm shoulder rubs then what in the hell was Monika supposed to do to stop that?!  
  
“I know, baby,” Sayori says, doing that terrible wonderful _thing_ where she peeks under every last one of Monika’s excuses at once and sees what’s hiding under them. “You’re so tired, I know.”  
  
“‘m nottt,” Monika whimpers, but she doesn’t dig in her heels when Sayori gently turns her chair around. “‘m not d, done, with it, yetttt,”  
  
“You don’t have to be done forever,” Sayori soothes, and Monika sags in relief. “We’re just gonna take a break, okay? A break for something yummy, and then a little nap.”  
  
Probably actually a long one, not that Monika was protesting or complaining about that idea right now. The floor of her bedroom practically swam in front of her now that her laser focus was peeled from the calculus textbook, and she nods.  
  
“Hooray!” Sayori cheers, quiet enough to not aggravate Monika’s senses. “I’m so glad you’re coming downstairs with me, lil’ green bean. I missed you today.”  
  
“Y’did?”  
  
“Mmhm, I did.” Sayori smooths Monika’s bangs back from her forehead, briefly - then pauses, and takes a chance. “Did you know Peaches had her kittens today?”  
  
Monika’s eyes widen, and her hands come up to grasp at Sayori’s sleeves.  
  
_”Kitties?”_  
  
Score one for Sayori; obsessive studying, 0.  
  
“Yup, babies! C’mon, pumpkin, let’s you and me go heat up some lunch an’ I can show you _all_ the pictures I took, okay?”  
  
“O— Oka-y!”  
  
“O-kay~!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (♡ - sayori works at an animal shelter!)
> 
> as an in-joke to myself, i might add - in any AU where sayori gains universe manipulation powers, she invariably ends up making herself able to talk to animals, and is thus... very good at her job! and so sayori worked at the animal shelter in all my fics forever. if it ain't broke... !


	8. prompt 9 - we'll have a great day too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's my birthday today! enjoy the update-bomb!

“So  _ why _ does the salt shaker have an accent?” Natsuki sighs.   
  
She’s sitting for Monika today - the kid needed some downtime and Sayori, unfortunately, couldn’t take the day off. Luckily, Natsuki’s finals were over and done with, and summer vacation looked glorious and bright.   
  
Very bright. And glorious! Like it was  _ outdoors, _ where the  _ swingset _ was, and where Natsuki would have been very content to push Monika and sun herself a bit.    
  
... but Monika didn’t really feel like going outside, to Natsuki’s (very mild) chagrin. Sayori  _ had _ warned her, but... okay, look, she’s used to her enthusiastic big-sister-tone activity pitches actually _working._ Yuri was pretty easy to convince if you made it seem interesting enough, but baby Monika really had a one track mind. And baby Monika wanted to watch Blue’s Clues.    
  
And only that, apparently. And only  _ these three episodes, _ even more apparently. Was it absolutely adorable how mesmerized she was by a cartoon puppy getting a birthday turtle, solving a treasure hunt, and announcing a new baby, uh,  _ spice? _ Yes. One hundred percent. But, like...   
  
... let’s just say there’s a reason Natsuki was so thrilled that Yuri preferred fun, action-y  _ kid shows _ as opposed to slow, syrupy baby shows. If it wasn’t for the precisely timed musical numbers, she probably would have passed out by now - she  _ had, _ at one point, only to be awoken by a clumsy pat on the cheek and a slightly distressed, slightly put-out Monika, which is how Natsuki figured that she  _ also _ watching this very saccharine television program was an important facet of Monika’s expectations.   
  
And, really, Natsuki kind of felt bad, then. It’s not Monika’s fault that she prefers to watch something gentle and heavily pre-structured and  _ safe _ when she’s feeling little, and it shouldn’t be that much of an ordeal for Natsuki to sit through it with her, but— god, Monika looks so absorbed in it and keeps tugging Natsuki’s shirt hem before something she likes happens and Natsuki wishes she could be that excited about this  _ with _ the kid, not just smiling and nodding at appropriate intervals.   
  
Which is why the light banter. Natsuki knows very well that little Monika isn’t a heavy talker, but - how else she’s going to manage to interact with this, she doesn’t know. Her first two tries didn’t really elicit any reaction, but, hey, something something... hope springing eternal.   
  
So, you know, color her surprised when Monika tugged down her pacifier enough to lisp “‘os hes’a  _ sh-ef,” _   then returning her attention to the television.   
  
“... oh.”   
  
Thoroughly stunned, Natsuki had quite a few seconds to consider the following earth-shattering revelations:   
• The salt shaker had a career.   
•  _ Monika would talk about this show. _   
  
Monika would talk about this show. Monika would talk about this show! Natsuki is either way too elated about this, or not quite enough - so, hold on, why didn’t her other two tries work? What was... ah.   
  
Ah!   
  
“So,” she says - maybe trying a little too hard to be casual about it, but, hey - “How come, um... Steve has to sit in that big chair to solve the mystery?”   
  
“Sof’,” comes an  _ immediate, _ quiet reply from Monika, and  _ boy _ does Natsuki feel like hollering in victory, “An’ i’s fow fin’king.”   
  
She did it! She did it! She figured it out, by god - Monika would talk to her to  _ tell her about it. _ Monika would  _ talk _ about it, and you know what?   
  
Natsuki shifts a bit closer to Monika, beaming when she feels the little lean into her side.   
  
_ This is definitely worth it, _ she thinks, hearing Monika’s contented sigh.  _... even if I’m gonna have the birthday song stuck in my head for a week. _   
  
“You think Blue’s gonna like her present, kiddo?”   
  
“Uh-huh. B’yu yik’s, tuw’dls.”   
  
(Natsuki looks at Monika - small, quiet and curled around the plush turtle friend in her lap, cheek nuzzled into Natsuki’s side. Hears the joyous cheers on the television of a cartoon puppy, not a word spoken but its wishes communicated, resourcefully, anyway.)   
  
(She thinks that maybe there’s more than one reason the kid likes this show so much.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (♡ - natsuki does convince monika to come outside and swing, a little later. sayori finds them sun-pink and napping on the couch when she comes home.)
> 
> those three episodes are all on a real blues clues tape! included episodes are blue's birthday, blue's big treasure hunt, and blue's news. 
> 
> this whole series might be an excuse for me to talk about blues clues. maybe. a little bit. (jk jk)


	9. prompt 12 - do your very best!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! if you're reading this before there are 13 chapters preceding it - congratulations, this is a bonus update! i did write it on the 12th, possibly because i was possessed by a ferocious writing spirit. thank you so much for all the wonderful comments, they made me so so happy to see and i love that you guys love this, too!!! qwq)/)
> 
> note: this takes place in the past! a flashback prompt, if you will.

Honestly, it wasn’t a  _ bad _ idea. Right?   
  
That’s what Monika has been telling herself for no less than 2 hours and 47 minutes, intermittently staring at the clock and staring at her lap, fidgeting nervously, which was super dumb and not at all necessary because—   
  
Yuri invited her over for a play date.   
  
Okay okay okay back up. First point: Yuri and Natsuki did this... thing? For stress relief. Or something. And Monika, as was noticeable from 6 miles away, was stressed out as a general state of being. So. Yuri had suggested that Monika come over and... try... to.    
  
Have. A play date.   
  
And oh my god it sounded so dumb in her head, both as something to get agitated over and something to be trying. Yuri wants her to play with her like they’re— kids, or something? Monika isn’t sure if it’s occurred to Yuri that, of all the things Monika doesn’t know how to act like, “child” is really high the fuck up on the list.   
  
(... well, of course she doesn’t know, because Monika tries harder than anything not to broadcast  _ that _ _. _ Nobody needs to know  _ that _ _. _ Nobody wants to know  _ that _ _. _ )   
  
But she’d already agreed to the whole date and—  _ aghhh _ she can’t skip out on Yuri! Never mind the kicked puppy look, Monika  _ doesn’t _ flake out on things, and that’s final.    
  
And if she doesn’t go  _ right now, _ she decides, grabbing her keys from the counter, she’s going to be late.   
  


* * *

  
Getting wrapped up in a hug from her softest girlfriend, Monika thinks, is definitely an excellent form of stress relief all on its own.

_ "Monnie!” _ She gushes, and, well, if Monika still blushes like a schoolgirl when Yuri plants a gentle kiss on her cheek, that’s between them. “C’mon, c’mon c’mon come in!”   
  
“Well,  _ that’s _ the most excitable I’ve ever seen you,” Monika notes - lets Yuri grab her hand and pull her in because, er, totally  _ not _ because she thinks she might have been trapped on the porch by nervous-frozen legs otherwise. This is fine! This is going to be, fine. Maybe it’ll even be fun.   
  
“Oh— well! It’s, it’s an exciting thing, isn’t it? I’ve kind of been looking forward to it, um, all day, so...”   
  
Ah - there’s the Yuri that Monika is familiar with. She lets out a bit of a breath, squeezing her girlfriend’s hand in what she really hopes is an encouraging manner.   
  
“It’s cool, Yuri. It’s, um - it’s nice,” she says. “I’m... really glad you’re excited! I’m, um...”   
  
“Nervous,” Yuri supplies, which causes Monika to look up with a start because that was  _ not _ the word she’d been looking for, “Monnie, you’ve been trembling.”   
  
... ahh. Hm. Damn. Involuntary bodily responses do the darnedest things.   
  
“... okay, yeah. I’m nervous. What do you even want to  _ do, _ anyway?” Monika sighs, wiggling her fingers until they slot between Yuri’s - always a respectable balm for her nerves. “I’m not really..."  
  
“Well, I invited you over to play, right?” Yuri says, smiling warmly, and yeah, that helps, too. “Listen, if you’re worried we’re going to need an adult or something like that - I can’t really get into it all the way if Natsuki isn’t here. And, you may note we’re alone.”   
  
They were? Monika takes several long moments to process, but - ah, they were. Yuri and Natsuki’s shared vehicle wasn’t in the driveway when Monika pulled up, and Sayori had other errands today, so...   
  
“Mhm.” Yuri nods, and starts to gently tug Monika down the hallway. “So, as I stated in my invitation, this really isn’t anything more than a  _ ‘try-it’ _ day, okay?”   
  
_ “‘Try-it’?” _ Monika repeats.   
  
_ “‘Maybe-you’ll-like-it’!”  _ Yuri completes, giggling a little bit - and Monika would be lying if she said that didn’t make her smile a little, too.   
  
“Okay, okay,” she sighs, “Try it. Got it. Yuri,  _ where—“ _   
  
Oh!   
  
Oh,  _ this _ is where.   
  
“It  _ was _ a second guest room,” Yuri says, hurriedly, “But, considering you and Sayori tend to be our only guests, we sort of decided it could be put to better use...”   
  
Better use was an understatement. Even  _ Monika _ could tell the room was - for lack of better terminology - a  _ playroom, _ and an—   
  
Well, Monika was impressed. Monika had a feeling she would be easily impressable in this category  _ anyway, _ though.  
  
“Er, I— I might have been thinking of things to do, um, before you came over, so - sorry for the mess!” Yuri—  _ blurts, _ which is a rarity in itself, before letting go of Monika’s hand and hopping over to seat herself at the low table, which appeared near-entirely coated in a layer of paper, markers, crayons and books. “I can clean up later.  _ C’mooon,” _ she almost whines, and Monika puts her hands in her pockets and worries dubiously at her lower lip.   
  
“You said you wouldn’t be all the way, or whatever,” she mutters, instead of what she wanted to say which was  _ ‘why did you let go of my hand’. _ Yuri frowns lightly, sitting back on the heels of her hands.   
  
“‘m  _ not. _ Trust me, you would be the first to know if I was,” with a little eye-roll, and Monika’s cheeks redden as she casts her gaze away.   
  
Good lord, this was a bad idea. She didn’t even know what half the stuff in here  _ was, _ let alone how it worked or how she was supposed to interact with it. Probably pretty depressing, considering most of it was likely just different kinds of toys, but reality was reality and - surprise - fuck her sideways if she’d ever had a ‘Legos’ or a ‘Little People’ or a dumb pretend animal. The dawning realization that she is  _ definitely _ not going to be very good at this and probably not in a comfortable way is upgrading the nervous fizz in her stomach to a churn, and she flexes her hands in her pockets helplessly.   
  
“... right,” is what she mumbles.    
  
“... Monnie? Hey, c’mon, you can sit down, it’s okay.”   
  
“... right,” Monika mumbles, again, and her legs feel kind of numb as she trudges over and sits down heavily. At least Yuri puts her hand on Monika’s knee, now that she’s within reach, and that’s nice.  
  
She lets out a shaky breath. Okay. Her best option right now -  _ probably  _ just to go along with whatever and hope she didn’t make a total ass of herself. It was all stuff for kids, wasn’t it? And kids didn’t tend to be the pinnacle of intellect. She’d figure it out.    
  
Besides, she at least got the concept of a coloring book. Maybe it was a little less intricate than the adult ones for anxiety reduction, but, like, you colored it. Not really rocket science.   
  
“Y— Yeah. Yup. I’m fine,” she says, taking another breath in and out. “So do  _ I  _ get one of those, or what?”   
  
“Impatieeent,” Yuri hmphs - but it’s playful, and she slides a _ Rilakkuma _ book Monika’s way.   
  


* * *

  
Yeah, coloring is pretty easy.   
  
Turns out it’s a rather absorptive activity even when there aren’t tiny intricate lines - she has absolutely no idea how long it’s been since she started the thing, but by the time Yuri gently jostles her shoulder and she blinks long enough to look up, there’s ten pages behind her.   
  
“Guess you like coloring!” Yuri chirps, and Monika can feel herself blush.   
  
“I’m not  _ done.” _   
  
“You don’t have to finish the whole book, Monnie.”   
  
“I mean, I’m not— I—  _ look!” _

Good lord, there’s no reason she should have been resorting to just gesturing at her half-finished page instead of gathering her thoughts and saying “Hey give me a minute to finish this page up” - but, you know, here she was. Fuck it, right? Words were hard sometimes and this was one of the sometimes, when she was all concentrated on something else, and if Yuri had a—

“Oh, you’re finishing that one. That’s fine! I’m just gonna go put Hamtaro in the tape player.”  
  
No problem at all?  
  
Monika blinks for a second, glancing from the page to Yuri, to the page, and back.   
  
And then nodding.  
  
“Great!” Yuri beams, patting Monika’s head once or twice before walking off.  
  
So... Yuri doesn’t mind if she doesn’t... talk.  
  
Hm.  
  
Monika finishes coloring her page. She thinks she did a pretty good job of it - getting the colors right to the best of her ability, considering she had half a box of crayons to work with. And she can hear Yuri fiddling with the rounded television, so she stands up, grabs the coloring book, and walks around to where Yuri has piled blankets and pillows and stuffed animals around herself and in front of the TV.  
  
“Hi, Monnie,” she hums, “Didja finish?”   
  
Monika considers _saying_ ‘Yeah’, but, she kind of wants to see what happens if she doesn’t. She holds the book out to Yuri, still opened to the colored page.   
  
“Oh, wow! That’s really good!” Yuri gasps, and - actually she sounds very genuine about it and there’s a flutter of warmth in Monika’s chest all of a sudden, and she squirms a bit on her feet.  
  
She still doesn’t say anything, and Yuri smiles.  
  
“I put in Hamtaro,” she says, “It’s fun. I think you’ll like it. Do you have to use the bathroom?”

Ah. Wow! That’s a direct question and Monika actually has no idea how to feel about it. Not enough to say anything, though, both because she’s still curious about how long this can go on before Yuri gets fed up and tells her to speak up, and also because saying words feels - harder than usual, for whatever reason.   
  
And now that Yuri  _ asked, _ Monika... kinda... does. Which isn’t earth-shattering, that  _ is _ how the human body works, but Monika is feeling rather,   
  
Overwhelmed?    
  
She feels overwhelmed by the idea of going to the bathroom by herself, which would be super concerning if she wasn’t preoccupied with being overwhelmed about it.    
  
So she shakes her head! Solves that problem, doesn’t it? Shakes her head, plops down beside Yuri, and totally inconspicuously shifts into a position where she could just forget about—   
  
“You’re squirming. Are you sure you don’t haveta go?”   
  
Ah. Right. Yuri probably knows what  _ ‘I-totally-don’t-have-to-potty’ _ wiggliness looks like. Stilling for a moment, Monika decides to concede defeat by shaking her head again and notably making no move to actually rectify the issue.   
  
Yuri waits, and Monika squirms - feeling more embarrassed by the second - before finally, the other girl speaks up with a soft “Do you want me to go with you?”   
  
_ Well, if you’re offering!  _   
  
Is what Monika would definitely had said if she was up to saying words. But she’s not, so she just nods in relief and, god, she’s never been more grateful for someone holding her hand on the way down the hallway and standing outside the bathroom door before.  
  
And that’s kind of when she gets the inkling that maybe this whole plan is actually working, washing her hands in a hurry because even though Yuri is, still, right outside the door (and humming), Monika really does not want to be in here alone any longer than necessary.    
  
And if Monika runs directly into Yuri’s arms for a hug after - again -  _ just going to the bathroom, _ well, that was between them.   
  
“He~llo,” Yuri grins, taking it very in stride, Monika thinks - rocking her slightly side-to-side in her arms and Monika can’t  _ help _ but melt into it, “Wanna watch Hamtaro now?”   
  
Monika nods, shyly, into Yuri’s shoulder.   
  


* * *

  
Maybe this plan would work out.   
  
Yuri invited her over because she said Monika looked stressed, which was absolutely true at the time of the statement - Monika hadn’t been  _ not _ stressed in what felt like several millennia sometimes, even, so it wasn’t like she could argue.    
  
But, now Monika was kind of wondering if Yuri somehow had her pegged from the start. Only kind of, because she was also wrapped up in a blanket on Yuri’s lap and it was really hard to be concerned about both how much Yuri had guessed beforehand  _ and _ about whether Hamtaro would successfully convince Bijou to come out and play, and maybe she was more interested in the hamsters right now. It was just -  _ hard _ to be worried, or preoccupied, or care a whole lot about  _ how _ when she could just be caring about right now.

Which was that she was steadily melting into a comfy puddle on Yuri’s lap. That was her right now. That was her  _ entire _ right now - she was warm and comfortable and snuggled close to someone she loved very much, and that was it. The entire extent of the  _ world _ right now might as well have been Yuri’s nest of blankets and toys, one of which had been pressed into Monika’s arms before the show started and, quite contrary to her earlier concerns, had fit into them with cozy ease.    
  
She’d  _ really _ been worried over how to interact with a stuffed animal.  _ Hah, _ she’d think, if she weren’t too lazily sated to bother - all she needed to realize about it was that it was warm and soft and smelled quite a lot like Yuri, and hey presto: it was now trapped in her arms forever. No wonder Sayori had a collection of them.    
  
Yuri squeezes her a little, presses a warm kiss to her temple and snuggles Monika right into the bend of her neck, and Monika lets out a  _ sigh _ so loose and pleased she nearly surprises herself.    
  
“Thanks for com’n over to play,” Yuri says, finally - “It’s fun. I love you.”   
  
And Monika  _ wants _ words for this, so - she finds them, turning her head to Yuri’s shoulder, nuzzling affection.    
  
“I l’veu too,” she mumbles. “T—Th’nks. Thank you f— for th’s.”   
  
“Knew you’d like it,” Yuri says, giving Monika another squeeze. “You’re cute l’il, y’know. Cute l’il sit— mm, sister.”   
  
... little. Little sister.   
  
(Maybe she could do this after all - maybe this was a part of her, too.)   
  
And yeah, maybe Monika’s blushing again,   
  
But she’s smiling, too, and she nuzzles back into her cozy, lovey Yuri-seat with a happy  _ little  _ hum.   
  
They watch  _ Hamtaro _ ‘til the tape runs out, and Yuri shows her how to wind it back to the start again.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it gets harder for monika to articulate her thoughts when she's very deeply focused on something.
> 
> i really did almost figure out a way to get monika to ask "what classroom did you get this from" about the vhs player, because - surprise - that's the only setting she's ever seen one in! didn't really fit, though, as you can see.
> 
> (♡ - hamtaro is yuri's favorite little show, which really surprised the heck out of natsuki. monika's favorite is blue's clues, for several reasons.)


	10. prompt 17 - two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do not avoid your problems by drinking.

_ ”No, you won’t.” _ __  
__  
_ And that had been the end of it; not because Sayori agreed (how could she? Right off the top of her head she can think of much weirder things she’s had to clean off of Monika than pee, which was still just mostly water), but because Monika’s expression had been so terrifyingly  _ **_distant,_ ** _ withdrawing from her partner and catapulting her into the space between attention and memory so quickly it hurt. So it was... something else. _ __  
__  
_ Monika had a lot of something elses, Sayori was realizing. _ __  
  


* * *

  
Fuck conversations.  
  
That was Monika’s current, very intelligent and alert state of opinion on the matter. On all of the matters, actually. Fuck conversations! The prime minister could probably have walked up to her right now and she’d have told them: Fuck conversations.   
  
Monika was a little blitzed.  
  
Okay! Okay, a lot. A lot blitzed. It wasn’t her fault that Yuri had both excellent taste in alcohol and adult activities. Yuri also has excellent taste in not asking incredibly difficult questions. The most problematic one she’d brought up all night was _this-or-that._  
  
And Monika picked both. Naturally. Look at her life choices! Does she look like the kind of woman who’d pick _one???_ Fuck no! What she needed after that— _conversation—_ was a round of shots and a roll on the carpet with one of her girlfriends and holy fucking _shit,_ did she get it.  
  
Slightly harder was the ‘getting her keys in the lock’ portion of the evening. Sigh. You know, she always managed to forget that the Uber driver wasn’t on the hook for door-opening. Something stupid about personal safety. Listen, you’re already driving some drunk idiot to god knows where, you’re probably not rolling the dice any harder by helping a lady out, _Jane._  
  
... wait, fuck, _is_ this her—  
  
Oh! Oh, yes, the key fit! Yes. This is her house. It’s... okay, it’s Sayori’s house. But it is also her house, because Sayori was a great share-er and also all her stuff was here, for what amount that counted for, and it is a big ordeal to get a bed down stairs. Maybe she should close the door behind her and not just stand in the entryway nodding to herself.   
  
About three minutes into wrestling off her outerwear, it occurs to Monika that maybe this hadn’t been the _best_ idea. Which part of it, she is still deciding, because even if she feels, literally, _very_ tipsy, that isn’t really altogether unpleasant! What’s that song, ah... _’believe it or not, I’m walking on air!’_ Which would also neatly account for the almost tripping three times in total, so far, from the car to where she is currently trying to work her feet out of her shoes. This was not as difficult last time she tried to do it, and she narrows her eyes somewhat accusingly at— oh, fuck, laces. Okay. Alright. Valid, then.   
  
She considers yelling _”S’yoorii ‘m homeeeee!”_ into the general vicinity, mainly because she would like to see Sayori (and also because she is home), but thankfully she notices that it’s one AM before she gathers up enough wits to holler. Probably not good manners, raising a ruckus at that hour! Also coming home blind drunk. But, you know, she’d just, go upstairs and sleep it off and it’d be fine. It’s fine! It’s finnneeee.   
  
... huh. That’s the stovetop clock, isn’t it? Monika ponders how she got into the kitchen for about five excruciating seconds before realizing that she didn’t actually care that much, and furthermore that it was probably because she wanted to eat something. Not sure what, but... sleeping on an empty stomach was bad! Also, something something alcohol...  
  
... that only worked if you ate _before_ the alcohol, right. Hm. Well, that put a damper on her excuses. Maybe Sayori wouldn’t come to the same conclusion, she decides, and also maybe she should have some water for the same reasons except maybe it would work this time! Great idea. Turns out the drinking hadn’t actually made her less thirsty - and she snickers to herself, running a clumsy hand over a love-bite or two, that it had might have actually made her _more_ thirsty. Aehehehe.  
  
Only issue with her very well-thought-out plan, as she saw it, was that the water bottles were on literally the highest shelf she could see. Which seemed like a dumb idea, with how fucking much she drank water! Whose— literally whose idea was this. She makes a mental note to tell Sayori she was moving those down a _lot_ farther, mentally chucks it somewhere in the direction of the mental bulletin board, and physically climbs up on the countertop to stretch and—  
  
Well!  
  
_”O-w!”_  
  
Okay. Yes, she fell on her ass from a few feet up. That did happen. And it hurt! Not, like, a terrible unmanageable amount, but she did kind of yell and also the water bottle had fallen out of her hand and holy fuck, linoleum and empty plastic made a hell of a noise when colliding at high speeds. All of this might not even have been that much of a problem, really, if not for,   
  
Er,  
  
Ah...  
  
Falling off the counter might have been enough of a surprise, and enough of a jolt to her lower abdomen, to convince depressant-laced and overtaxed musculature to—  
  
No, fuck that flowery nonsense. She pissed herself. And didn’t actually notice for the first couple of seconds of stunned-ness, of course, until Sayori flips on the kitchen light, and _then_ Monika realizes what-all is happening (kind of) while blinking harshly against the sudden illumination.  
  
“... good morning?”  
  
“... hi.” Says Monika, very eloquently and _very_ red in the face, from what she will attribute to the shots. “I’m, uh...”  
  
... completely losing her train of thought. Yep. Let’s see, she came home from Yuri’s, she got the door open, she... there’s peanut butter on the counter, that also! Monika is—  
  
“... peeing?”  
  
Well, that also. Sayori blinks, shuffling her hands to rest with one on her hip, head tilting.  
  
“Yeah, looks like it! Is this _maybe_ why Natsuki texted me, or—“  
  
“N-Nooo! Na—Nas’ski wans, n’even _home!”_  
  
“Ooooh, so you _were_ with Yuri!”  
  
“... huhh... tha...”   
  
Monika catches up somewhere around Sayori pressing a hand to her forehead, leaning over - uhh.   
  
“... thasnot fair.”  
  
“It’s _kinda_ fair, c’mon. If you weren’t totally toasted you’d’ve seen that coming a mile away! And you’re definitely toasted,” says Sayori - rather fondly, all considered. “What _else_ were you doing? Besides peeing.”  
  
“Oh,” mumbles Monika, squeezing her eyes shut against the kitchen lights to think. “... water.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Get’tn water, uh— yeah!” Jabs a pointing finger in the direction of the water bottle, now on the ground a foot or two away (probably for the better). “I’got— got’th, bot’dle, uh, down. ‘S... ‘s up highhh.”  
  
“... Monika?”  
  
“Mh?”  
  
“Why’d you pick that one?”  
  
Monika looks back in the direction she pointed, brow furrowing puzzledly. What was there to ask about? It was the blue one with the green lid and handles and the chewy spout and it had all the glow in the dark stars on it, and it was _hers_ and furthermore it was her favorite. That was, quite possibly, the least questionable and/or confusing decision she’s made all day.  
  
“‘S _mine,”_ is what her brain and mouth can actually work together to produce.  
  
“Oh. Right! Duh, sorry, I totally... blanked for a second.”  
  
Monika nods clumsily, head knocking lightly against Sayori’s shoulder. Okay, fair! Monika could understand that. Same... same brain cell. Except she doesn’t think Sayori drank too much with Yuri today because she’s at home and also not falling off countertops and, judging by her pajamas, had been probably...  
  
... oh. It was, like, one AM. Sayori had probably been _asleep._  
  
“U-Uhh, h— s-so _oory!_ S-Sor, rryy, S’yori, S-Ss, I w— I woke’y _upp,_ ‘mm,”  
  
“A— no! Oh, no, Monika, hey, hey hey hey. You didn’t wake me up, baby, no, I was wai—“  
  
Sayori pauses.  
  
“... w… wwwalking, to the bathroom! I was already up, okay?”  
  
Monika makes a slightly strangled noise, folding her arms into her chest as a chill zipped up her back. She— okay, even if she didn’t wake Sayori up she still made her come _down_ here because she fell because— because reasons she doesn’t think she can really handle thinking about right now but not good ones and,  
  
“Hey, hey, none of that, okay? Shh, you don’t have to cry, everything’s gonna be fine.”  
  
Monika realizes - again - that something is happening mostly because of Sayori; she doesn’t notice the tear trails on her face until Sayori is gently cupping her chin, brushing them away with her thumbs. Not _fair._ It’s not fair it’s _not,_ that this is— after being stupid and avoiding— and _then— on the_ **_floor—_**  
  
“Aw, baby,” Sayori sighs, pressing her forehead gently to Monika’s as the other girl’s shoulders sag, finally starting to cry in earnest. “It’s okay. You had a big night, huh? C’mon, peanut, let’s go get you cleaned up and in bed—“  
  
“N— N, noohhh!”  
  
“Huh? Monnie, what’dyou mean? You’re shivering, baby.”  
  
“Ighh— I god’, god’ta do it, I go— I hav’va, j-ju’t me. I need’hh... fissit.”  
  
Sayori is quiet for an amount of time that is: too much.  
  
“... Monika, I’m not gonna make you clean yourself up. It was an accident, right? And you’re way too little to do all that by yourself.”  
  
Monika picks silently at the knee of her uncomfortably wet jeans, gaze focused on her fingers.   
  
“... baby? Hey, Monnie, can you look at me, please?”  
  
It takes a lot, a _lot_ of effort, but Monika looks up at Sayori’s gentle expression.  
  
“Hey, honeybunch,” she coos, and the sore pit in Monika’s tummy feels a little less sore for a moment. “Can you tell me your number?”  
  
... Monika knows her number, right now.  
  
But she shakes her head.  
  
Sayori frowns, not a mad “you-shouldnt-have-done-that” frown but a frown that looks very sad, and she presses her forehead to Monika’s one more time.  
  
“Okay, Monnie. You can tell me in the morning. But we’re gonna get all cleaned up now, okay?”  
  
She pauses, Monika not any closer to standing.  
  
“I’m not gonna leave you sitting in a puddle, baby. Bathtime, then sleepy time, ‘kay?”  
  
“... ‘tay,” Monika whispers, and lets Sayori pull her gently to her feet, lead her carefully down the hall to the bathroom.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (♡ - they do talk about it come morning. it's a long talk.)
> 
> i suppose this one wasn't very fluffy; i might have to lightly adjust the ratio stated in the summary. :(
> 
> and - this one's for my best friend / beta reader - don't pee yourself in the hopes it will make sayori materialize. that's not exactly how it works. your experience will vastly diverge from this fanfic snippet. this has been a psa.


	11. bonus 1 - self-soothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to a bonus chapter! like, a real bonus! this one wasn't on the prompt list, but it was cute and it happened, so here we are!

“Hey, baby, c’mon now - I’m not sure if Turtle likes having his taggy munched on!”   
  
Monika just blinks at Sayori, which is both fine and expected; she doesn’t do much talking when she’s little in the first place, nevermind when her mouth is occupied by idly nibbling the tush tag on her favorite plush friend. Sayori tuts good-naturedly, gently tugging the loop of fabric from Monika’s mouth.   
  
“There we go. You’ve been a little nibbly recently, huh?”   
  
A very rhetorical question, but Sayori knows Monika loves to be included in conversation even without very intelligible responses, so it’s a question she asks anyway - and with the baby refocused from the television and onto her, she gets an innocent little grin for her effort, a hand grasping up at the hem of her shirt.   
  
“Aww, c’mere, you little cutie! I think someone wants snuggles from Mama~!”   
  
Ah, well. Nibbles happened, she supposed, and besides, she was now wholly occupied with cuddle time!   
  
...   
  
Mama is silly, Monika decides.   
  
Mama’s been very very pay-attention to things recently! She’s been very pay-attention to the things that Monika is putting in her mouth, mostly, which not even Monika is doing. That’s okay, because Mama makes sure that the places Monika is in are safe for babies, so she isn’t going to get hurt so she isn’t worried so she doesn’t pay attention when the corner of the television remote ends up in her mouth, which is what Mama is confused over.   
  
She even checked Monika’s teeth! Big Monika is really good at bathroom business and Mama is very careful about brushing little Monika’s teeth, and she doesn’t think she’s going to have any more loose ones ever, so it couldn’t possibly be that! And it’s not very much chewing, anyway (Monika would never chew on Turtle!) - it’s just very gentle mouth-ing. Licky?    
  
No, licking takes too much work, and it doesn’t feel like when she had to lick a pop-sicle on the porch. It’s... licky-sucky. Like her space sippy cup! She tried to keep licky-sucky on her sippy cup too, once, but Mama said it would make her tummy hurt and put it away.   
  
She would wonder why, but Monika’s just a baby and they don’t really ponder the things they want to do - they just do them and their mama can tell them if it’s an okay or a nuh-uh and that’s all there is to it. But this thing-to-do is a little strange; Mama doesn’t say nuh-uh for the same reasons, or very urgently, and the problem always seems to be  _ what _ Monika is trying to licky-sucky on, not that she’s trying to do it in the first place.   
  
So, unsurprisingly, it feels like  _ eureka! _ the first day she realizes her  _ thumb _ is in her mouth.   
  
...   
  
Monika finally,  _ consciously _ discovering that her thumb is a convenient thing to suck on is kind of the cutest thing Sayori has probably ever seen (today, at least).   
  
Consciously is the key word; Sayori had been finding her little sweetheart napping deeply and sucking her thumb for at least a week, which might also account for the recent lack of mildly concerned teeth-checking. It was a sensible explanation for the nibbly behavior, too - clearly, Monika was feeling comfortable enough to re-kindle that self-soothing behavior!    
  
The oooonly issue was, that, well. Monika sucking her thumb was positively adorable, in Sayori’s opinion, but it was also not exactly... ideal. Granted, Monika was physically grown and probably wouldn’t be very prone to becoming ill from the habit (although, then again, with the way she ran herself ragged...), but it A) certainly wouldn’t be good for her teeth and B) would probably noticeably physically affect the digit in  _ some _ way, and Sayori knew that anybody picking up on it would be the death of her poor, easily-flustered girlfriend’s dignity.   
  
So, what to do?   
  
She definitely wasn’t going to discourage Monika altogether; that would be just  _ mean _ to do to a baby ( especially a baby who was probably getting over someone doing just that ) who wanted comfort, and would probably be futile besides. But... she couldn’t just look the other way entirely, either - that would be mean to  _ big _ Monika, who was really truly counting on her to make sure she didn’t mess up important things while she was little!   
  
“What am I gonna do with you, lil’ missy?” She sighs, fondly stroking a curled, napping Monika’s warm little forehead; the sleeping girl’s thumb, of course, tucked securely in her mouth, peacefully  _ nuck-nuck-nuck _ ing away as she dozed.   
  
... wait...    
  
_ “Ohhhhh,” _ Sayori whispers, eyes going wide - and she nips off downstairs to her laptop and a sudden  _ idea. _   
  
...   
  
Mama is  _ definitely, definitely, _ the very best mama in the whole entire universe.   
  
That’s what Monika decides very shortly after Mama announces that she has a surprise for her. It’s rather early in the morning; big Monika slipped last night and was still feeling very tired and small come wake-ups time, so it was a sleepy baby morning (as evidenced by the sleepy baby, tucked up carefully with friends and soft blanket and milk-sippy on the couch). But Mama says she has a  _ surprise, _ and usually surprises come after naps and lunches and not right away in the morning, and Monika is so interested and tries her very very best to will herself very awake to know what the surprise is.   
  
“Aww, don’t worry, muffin,” Mama coos, planting a kiss right on top of Monika’s nose, “You don’t have to get up for this surprise! You can be as sleepy-baby as you want, okay?”   
  
Oh! Well, that’s nice. Kind of surprising already, but very nice, because Monika is  _ very _ sleepy-baby. Actually, she would have maybe liked to be sucking her thumb right now, but her hands are cozy warm somewhere under the blankets and, it would take a lot of energy to untuck them. And she likes being tucked, and warm. Mama takes a little bit long to find the surprise, and Monika is resting her eyes a little bit long while Mama is looking, and then she’s sucking her thumb again and she thinks now is a very good time to take her mid-morning nap.   
  
Oh... no, she realizes, after a moment - her hands are still very cozy and tucked-in and not in her mouth, and her brow crinkles a bit in thought. How strange. There’s something pressing gently against her whole mouth, too, and it’s a very nice feeling, almost as nice as the soft nubby thing she’s sucking on all of a sudden. She hears Mama giggle softly, gently rubbing the confusion from Monika’s forehead, and she’s a little caught between wanting to have her nap now and wanting to know what her surprise is - so, with much effort, she blinks her drowsy eyes open one more time.   
  
And, crossing them slightly, sees... ?   
  
“It’s for you, honeybunch,” Mama croons, and Monika could close her eyes and melt into her voice in a heartbeat. “I thought you might like a pacifier, since you like your thumb a lot. What do you think, baby?”   
  
Monika is not a baby of many words; especially not when she’s as sleepy and cozy as she is right now.   
  
So she settles for the sweetest baby purr she can possibly muster, leaning into Mama’s gentle touch and suckling contentedly on her very wonderful early-morning surprise.    
  
“I’m glad you like it, pumpkin,” hums Mama, gathering Monika close as she starts to float off into sleep and pressing a loving kiss right to her cheek.   
  
Monika sleeps very soundly, nestled in Mama’s heartbeat and surrounded by the warmth and weight of love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (♡ - sayori, upon realizing how quickly pacifiers tend to disappear, makes the only sensible decision and buys like fifty.  
> ... and a pacifier clip. definitely before the fifty. (whoops.) )
> 
> there are a lot of really cute pacifiers out there. did yall know this? like,,, a lot??? help.
> 
> not gonna lie, i kinda wanna go back over all the sayori+monika chapters and just.... gently....... tally up all the cute nicknames............


End file.
